1. take yourself outside of the situation
I know that when things are hard, you want to grovel in your problems and just think about, well, yourself. not that your selfish, just that your focus is on your side of the story. but its so much easier to take yourself out and breath. you might find something you wouldn't normally find, which brings me to numbero dos...
2. what you think of others, they are probably thinking of you
lets face it, when you are fighting with someone, its usually because both people believe they are right, and you are wrong. when you think about it, though, this means that both of you think the other is stupid, or jerkish, or something else just as hurtful. when i think of the person and how they feel, i begin to realize that they probably thought i wasn't putting enough effort in (which was true) and that i was being heartless and cruel.
i know.
that took me SUCH a long time to get my head around. how could someone think that?!? but don't we all? so why shouldnt they? and once i did get it, i moved past with a simple i don't care because, at that point, i didn't. now, if you did care, thats a different story, one that you will have to answer on your own, because i don't think ive gotten their yet, sorry.
3. prioritize.
this sounds like some organization technique, and i guess in some ways it is. but not in your room, or locker, or whatever, its for your life. you have to pick the things that matter most to you, and just let yourself be focused on those, and not the stupid stuff that goes on elsewhere. for an example, i'll give you my list.
family
my true friends
music
soccer
horseback riding
keeping myself true
honesty
schoolwork
thats 8 things that i focus on daily to make sure that my life is clean, which so far has worked. this is the thing i used to get out of my depression last year, so it had a huge effect on my life, and still does.
4. will this matter next week, next month, or next year?
i use this one a lot. basically, its just a way of saying, is this worth it? for example, if i got in a fight with my sister about who got to shower first, i probably won't remember it the next week, and certainly not the next month. but, if i was covered in cockroaches at that moment, i would probably remember it for the next....rest of my life, so you see, if i wasn't covered in cockroaches, i would say "whats the big deal" and let her go first. however if she insisted she went first even though i was encased by bugs, i would resent her for a month plus. but probably she would let me go first :) just saying
5. don't fuss until fussing is essential
ahh i love this one, just because i can watch everyone get frazzled and i can be all chill. its a good stress reliever, truly. i'll use a scene from this weekend to show you what its about. so i had a soccer tournament (#3- don't you forget it!) and the game started at 6:30 in uh, a location that shall remain anonymous. we were doing fine until we hit a SERIOUS traffic jam. i sat back and didn't say anything as my mom was yelling at the drivers and freaking out. it wasn't that i wasn't concerned, its just that i chose to take the situation and let it be, and try to figure it out without all the drama. it turns out that we reached the field on time and were fine, no harm done. but you see, my dear mother could've saved so much energy and thought by just letting the traffic go and think rationally. so you can see how helpful this one was, which kinda brings me to six...
6. drama sucks, and it isn't some fantastically interesting movie like you think
i admit, i used to be sooooo dramatic. i was such a little drama queen, always bringing out the show at the shallowest hint of a scandal. but then i got a hefty dose of some real drama and stress, and let me tell ya, it ain't pretty. you loose sleep, your constantly thinking about it, and you feel like crap all the time. its not that hollywood. now i just do what i can to avoid it and to fix it before it turns into a drama war. this annoys friends who just want someone to play their little drama game with them, but im soo NOT into it anymore. and they usually move past it with a "whatever".
thats all i've got for now... i might to more later, just because i full of all this stuff. if you want me to focus on something just comment. if you want to tell me you hate this and to stop, just comment, if your bored... you guessed it! comment. BEE HAPPY!!!!
laughattack
4 comments:
wow that's really great advice. it's cool that you came up with those and try to live by them. i think i'll try to remember those things too.
ahahaha, idaho. don't worry, the funnyness of idaho is NOT all i got out of this post. okay, i'll take my comments step by step:
1. i'm a big one for this. i always try to put myself in the other person's shoes. even when i don't care what they think and all i want to do is be convinced i'm right, i still try to understand where theyre coming from. this kind of has to do with number...
2. that is definetely true. take this school thing for example. i'm thinking, this school is soo stupid why do they have to be so stupid? and theyre probly thinking, howw can this girl be so stupid as to write something like that? again, though, i put myself on their side and i know exactly why theyre doing what theyre doing. whether i like it or not is another thing. i think, you can't judge something until you understand it completely. THEN you can decide what you think about it. anyway.
3. this is true. i can't say i do this conciously like i do with the other ones, but i think on some level i do. anyway, not much to say about it, except, i agree.
4. MY FAVORITE!!! This is like my main thing, i swear!!!!!! i ALWAYS say this. because i watch people freak out about the tiniest things, and i'm sitting here like, what a waste of energy. because, yes! there's no point in freaking out if you're not even gonna remember it next week! i just completely agree with this, this is what i think all the time. and yes, i'll admit, sometimes i spaz over nothing too. but this is because sometimes i'm just crabby and spazzing is fun sometimes. know what i mean? sometimes i just pms at people randomly. like my mom will be like, "what do you want for supper?" and i'm like, "do i look like i know? i don't know what i want for supper! why do you ask me all these questions?!" yeah. like that. sometimes i just freak out at people. but i do it because i choose to, not because i'm really that worked up about it. anyway!!!!...
5. i agree with this, but am bad at it. i will spaz because i'm late for a band concert and everyone is moving really slowly to get to the car and traffic is taking forever, etc etc.......i always fuss when fussing isn't necessary. it is a fault of mine. sometimes i just get too caught up in the moment and my temporary anger to stop and consider this stuff, and even if i do, if i'm mad enough, i just wanna be like the dark, depressed, messed up moody teenager for a little while, like, screw the world, screw being rational, i don't need to do what you say. sometimes i'm like that, you know? and that's when i don't care about morals or values or any of this stuff, and i just wanna scream at somebody for being in my way. anyway, its not like i have anger issues or anything, usually i'm pretty good at controlling my anger, and i only really ever get angry at my family, almost NEVER at my friends. and when i'm mad at my family, i'm usually good at controlling it, unless, like i said i'm in one of the above moods.
kay, blogger won't let me comment this long, so the rest will be on a different comment.
here's the rest of the comment:
6. drama does suck when you're a part of it. i'll admit gossiping and laughing at other people's problem's because they're not yours is fun, but its not right obviously, and then people turn around and do the same thing to you when you're the topic of gossip. and i hate getting in fights with my friends. i only have like once or twice with one of my friends. like honestly, i have NEVER gotten into a fight EVER with any of my friends besides one once and it was a stupid little thing that we eventually got over. which is good. because i make all these friends, and usually i keep all of them. and then i make more! and i keep adding all these friends. and just recently i was thinking how great people are and how much i love my friends, and there's a special and individual reason that i'm friends with each of them. the friends that come and go are the ones that aren't that amazing to me, and i'm not saying theyre not great people, we just don't click. but surprisingly, i click with most of the people i become friends with, and i love them all soo much . but like, each person that i'm friends with, there is something specific about why i'm friends with them. (see my blog for a list of friends and their amazing traits!!!) i think this year in eighth grade we are all learning so much... not about like school and stuff like, science and math learning, but so much about life! we became a lot more mature this year, and i like it. you can really tell, because people are so deep and full of ideas and they all have their own opinions and thoughts and i never thought of people that way before this year, but anyway i just love it... i just love people! anyway, i could talk about the subject of people even longer, but i'm pretty sure this comment even beats jennifer's on my blog for length. so bye!
uh, wow i think it does to lol. but yeah i just have learned so much and im super happy that you guys accept it and stuff, ya know?? i feel like there are people around me who just don't get it... not you.... and im glad that there are good people like yourselves :) anyway i might post more if i feel like it at one point.... love you guys!!!!!
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