So I originally planned this title to make sense and mid word i was like, to hell with it! and typed random letters :) and it was bro. but yeah so much is in my mind today. is it weird i find this as more of a journalish thing?? thats probably bad. sorry. but i do. if im super happy and can't contain myself i go on here and go NUTS. and then if something is really bugging me I come on here. usually i don't post it, i just write it down. remember 8th grade health when they said you needed a stress reliever? well writing things down? yeah, it works. just saying. but yeah, thats what my original thought is going into this new post.
ANYWAY
so you wanna know something that irritates me to no end?? the one thing that could get me to hate you even if you were the nicest person in the world. well.. if you did this you probably wouldn't be the nicest person in the world.. but its the idea of it. i hate it when people get so caught up in their own problems that they forget that there are other people around them with different/ more severe problems and other things in life to live for. seriously! I mean.. you can't just lock yourself away when somehting bad happens to you. life goes on, you get over it, something else happens, cycle continues. period. but whining and hiding away while people are VERY obviously trying to reach out to you. i hate it. you know what i mean though?? like, when you try to talk to someone and they completely shut you down because of some stupid thing that happened to them (which admititly probably hurt a lot) that they kind of caused. just something ya know.
OTHER WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED AND NOW IM CONFUSED AND STUFF :P
soo I was chatting this guy on fb that i've known for most of my life but stopped talking to in the 3rd grade. i've done it like 3 or 4 times before. but yeah all of a sudden he got, uh, really flirty. like kind of creepy/ holy balls did he just do that flirty. and i don't really get it because it doesn't really happen to me that often. but yeah he was all "the little boy from elemetry school grew up :D" and i was like :O and didn't know what to say so i said "cool:) little girl from elementary school grew up too haha :)" and as i started going into freak out mode he said "Hahahahaha yes i bet she did;)" HOLY FUCK. ok... how should i respond to THAT!?! and so my friend told me to say "yeah im pretty mature now:)" and now that i look back that probably wasn't the best thing to say but i was blanking out. so then he replyed "I bet u are haha:)" and when i didn't respond. (at this point i was begging my sister to help me out-- to no avail) and he said "g2g ill tty soon ;)"
Do guys usually do that? like for real? thats so cheesy and odd. the weird thing is that the conversations before this were completely normal.. maybe because he had a girlfriend?? i'll never know. but yeah. i kind of died. like really who says that? or is that normal and im just new to this. i mean.. woww ok. but yeah that was my night after being sick and procrastinating. holy balls. i need to calm down. fhewwwww
but yeah!! I AM SO FREAKIN' PUMPED FOR CHRISTMAS. i want to go holiday shopping ALL THE TIME. i love christmas. i just hope its a good one this christmas. :)
i am obbsessed with three songs and one band and one album. song #1= Red Cup (I fly Solo)- Cash Cash song #2= We'll Be Alright- Travie McCoy song #3= Marry You- Bruno Mars band= THE BEATLES album= Harmony-Never Shout Never.
thats kinda my story so far :)) BEE HAPPY!!!
laughattack
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
CRUSHED
SO!! hofam was undefeated 14-0 when we got to the state finals...
damn
ummm there was kinda a humbling moment when we were crushed 14-41.. haa
but then i realized.. i don't care much about our football team. like, i have school spirit and all, its just when we are losing and stuff its hard to get into it. plus mostly all i do is admire the seniors.. for there football talent!! haha.. seniors... :)
but yeah, i feel like crap nbd. i hate being sick. for some reason i always get sick like every 2 or 3 weeks.. and its not sleep or stress or anything like that. im just getting sick. my parents think that something is up and im trying to get out of class. NOT TRUE. well.. not totally true. but what is your staying home vs. toughing through it stance? I say, make whatever decision you want but suffer the consequences of staying behind. escpecially in math. bleh. but yeah ill probs go unless my throat still hurts in the morning, then ill take a full or half day off. i think thats pretty reasonable?? but yeah. thats my life right now.
is it creepy that i think my little cousins are ADORABLE?? not like, romantically because they are 9 and under but i can't get over them! im always like, "your so cute" or "i love you so much, your adorable!" i think they got sick of it but whatevs. stories to tell them when they are older i guess haha. but yeah sorry for the randomness and shortedness of this.. kinda tired and stuff :) BEE HAPPY!!!
laughattack
damn
ummm there was kinda a humbling moment when we were crushed 14-41.. haa
but then i realized.. i don't care much about our football team. like, i have school spirit and all, its just when we are losing and stuff its hard to get into it. plus mostly all i do is admire the seniors.. for there football talent!! haha.. seniors... :)
but yeah, i feel like crap nbd. i hate being sick. for some reason i always get sick like every 2 or 3 weeks.. and its not sleep or stress or anything like that. im just getting sick. my parents think that something is up and im trying to get out of class. NOT TRUE. well.. not totally true. but what is your staying home vs. toughing through it stance? I say, make whatever decision you want but suffer the consequences of staying behind. escpecially in math. bleh. but yeah ill probs go unless my throat still hurts in the morning, then ill take a full or half day off. i think thats pretty reasonable?? but yeah. thats my life right now.
is it creepy that i think my little cousins are ADORABLE?? not like, romantically because they are 9 and under but i can't get over them! im always like, "your so cute" or "i love you so much, your adorable!" i think they got sick of it but whatevs. stories to tell them when they are older i guess haha. but yeah sorry for the randomness and shortedness of this.. kinda tired and stuff :) BEE HAPPY!!!
laughattack
Friday, November 19, 2010
FINALLY
I am so sorry.
I won't give excuses, I just suck at time managment and remembering things.
Back to life.
Ok, so its quarter 2, pulling off a B- in math, and feeling pretty good about it. B- you say??? You try that in an honors class with a japanese teacher who says that you will end up commiting suicide if you can do a problem in only one way. And then tells us to throw up in a bucket. I still like her and learn things, its just hard. but enough of that, I'm sorry I have to bring this up but I do. As you may know, in september of 2008 something terrible happened to me. My Uncle Peter died of brain cancer on a Sunday night, and it was devastating. In March that same year is when he was diagnosed. Coincidentally, it was the same evening I first created this blog, so my first post is actually the day we found out about Uncle Peter's condition. That day was one of the most terrifying, emotional, and miserable days of my life. As I was creating this very blog, I heard my mother burst into uncontrolable, unending, and earth-shattering sobs. Being as young as I was, I didn't think much of it. Until she sat me down and explained to me that my beloved uncle was gravely ill, and that we should pray for him and my cousins and aunt to conquer the cancer. April. May. June. July. August. During August is when we usually take our annual Rhode Island trip. It was a little different this time, however. We first stopped at Connecticut to stay at my aunt's house. Unkowingly, my parents had planned for us to say our goodbyes to my uncle. We went to the hospital to see my uncle, a brilliant man of great skill and intelligence, locked on a hospital bed, He was banned from consuming anything but water, and he was very much co-dependant. We hugged him with a "Get better Uncle Peter! See you!" We returned home, and not a month later did a call come to our house on a Friday afternoon. "Peter is dying" was the message. I don't remember exactly what was said, or even who called. All I remember is balling on the staircase as my babysitter consoled me, as my parents were out of town. We called them to ask if we could go see him before his inevitibal parting. "Remeber when we visited him this summer?" "Yeah.." "That was your goodbye, I'm sorry honey". That was a comfort food night. Then we get to Sunday about midnight, We gathered in my sister's room and the news hung in the air for an immeasurable amount of time until it collapsed, heaving onto all of our shoulders as we huddled together with tears flighting past our cheeks. And that was that.
Why on earth did I waste your (and my) time explaining all of this? Because tonight, it hit again. Thankfully not in my family, but my father's coworker was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Newly divorced and recently without a job, he has kids 15 and younger dealing with a rough split between parents and a father facing death. It hit home. Cancer is not a fight, its a war. We've already lost millions of battles, Uncle Peter was one of them. But we are winning them too. We need to win more battles, We need to beat cancer. Please, I would never ask for anyone to give money or anything, but I am praying for this family and the countless others struggling for each victory against this awful and life destroying disease.
I'm truly sorry posted after a long absence with such a sad post, but I found this out today and it needs to be known. I'll try to post something happier soon. Probably tomorrow.. just saying :)
laughattack
I won't give excuses, I just suck at time managment and remembering things.
Back to life.
Ok, so its quarter 2, pulling off a B- in math, and feeling pretty good about it. B- you say??? You try that in an honors class with a japanese teacher who says that you will end up commiting suicide if you can do a problem in only one way. And then tells us to throw up in a bucket. I still like her and learn things, its just hard. but enough of that, I'm sorry I have to bring this up but I do. As you may know, in september of 2008 something terrible happened to me. My Uncle Peter died of brain cancer on a Sunday night, and it was devastating. In March that same year is when he was diagnosed. Coincidentally, it was the same evening I first created this blog, so my first post is actually the day we found out about Uncle Peter's condition. That day was one of the most terrifying, emotional, and miserable days of my life. As I was creating this very blog, I heard my mother burst into uncontrolable, unending, and earth-shattering sobs. Being as young as I was, I didn't think much of it. Until she sat me down and explained to me that my beloved uncle was gravely ill, and that we should pray for him and my cousins and aunt to conquer the cancer. April. May. June. July. August. During August is when we usually take our annual Rhode Island trip. It was a little different this time, however. We first stopped at Connecticut to stay at my aunt's house. Unkowingly, my parents had planned for us to say our goodbyes to my uncle. We went to the hospital to see my uncle, a brilliant man of great skill and intelligence, locked on a hospital bed, He was banned from consuming anything but water, and he was very much co-dependant. We hugged him with a "Get better Uncle Peter! See you!" We returned home, and not a month later did a call come to our house on a Friday afternoon. "Peter is dying" was the message. I don't remember exactly what was said, or even who called. All I remember is balling on the staircase as my babysitter consoled me, as my parents were out of town. We called them to ask if we could go see him before his inevitibal parting. "Remeber when we visited him this summer?" "Yeah.." "That was your goodbye, I'm sorry honey". That was a comfort food night. Then we get to Sunday about midnight, We gathered in my sister's room and the news hung in the air for an immeasurable amount of time until it collapsed, heaving onto all of our shoulders as we huddled together with tears flighting past our cheeks. And that was that.
Why on earth did I waste your (and my) time explaining all of this? Because tonight, it hit again. Thankfully not in my family, but my father's coworker was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Newly divorced and recently without a job, he has kids 15 and younger dealing with a rough split between parents and a father facing death. It hit home. Cancer is not a fight, its a war. We've already lost millions of battles, Uncle Peter was one of them. But we are winning them too. We need to win more battles, We need to beat cancer. Please, I would never ask for anyone to give money or anything, but I am praying for this family and the countless others struggling for each victory against this awful and life destroying disease.
I'm truly sorry posted after a long absence with such a sad post, but I found this out today and it needs to be known. I'll try to post something happier soon. Probably tomorrow.. just saying :)
laughattack
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